Sunday, July 27, 2008

Expression: No Fun At Amusement Parks!

Remember the days when going to an amusement park and spending the entire day there was soooo exciting? So exciting that you couldn't sleep the night before-exciting? Well, those days are apparently looooong-gone for me because I no longer get that giddy-amusement park feeling, instead I feel like a big day of torture is ahead of me.
Why am I so un-looking forward to it you ask? How many reasons do you want?! lol
Rewind to a hot July day last summer :

My BiG Un-Amusing Amusement Park Day Itinerary!
5:00 AM: Wake up, get ready, pack everything we need.
5:30 AM: Wake kids up. Get them ready, feed them.
6:00 AM: Double check to make sure we are good-to-go.
6:30 AM: Take off.
6:35 AM: Stop at a gas station so 2-year-old can pee. This is bound to go on all day long every 5- 15 minutes so bear with me as I lose my mind. Bad time to start potty-training with this "fun" day planned! lol
8:30 AM: Arrive at Amusement Park. Pay $160 to just get in the door! By this time it is like 99 degrees outside.
10:00 AM: After suffering heat exhaustion and after 103 trips to the bathroom for Mr. Potty Training man, I am ready to leave already. But no...the kids don't want to leave...we just got here! Great, looks like I'm stuck here for a while.
12:00 PM: I need to make them eat lunch. I am starving! Finally paid $100 bucks for us to eat a light lunch and now Mr. Potty Training Man needs to go to the bathroom again....Ugh! Do you really have to do Number 2? Well, ladies & gentlemen, I might as well pull up a chair and a good book cause this might take awhile.
2:00 PM: Finally done in the bathroom with little man. Back to the long lines and the heat.
3:00 PM: Can't we leave yet? Am I the only one who is dying here? It has to atleast be 130 degrees out now! I can't breathe. Another potty break.
5:00 PM: This line has approximately 'two hour wait"....What?! That's crazy! 9-year-old roller coaster know-it-all son says "Mom, this ride is sooo worth the wait. It was just built and it takes you up 635 feet high and it has 18 loops, 4 hills and the g-force on it is so great that..." Okay, okay...we'll ride year when something else is new & more exciting...then this line won't be sooo long on this one! How's that for an idea? (If only this would work! :) 3 more potty breaks.
6:00 PM: I've almost been thrown up on 2-3 times by random people exiting rides. A bird pooped on my head & a wasp has made a swimming pool out of little man's bottled water that he forgot to put the cap back on. Good thing I caught that before he started to chug! Wow, what a day....Can we leave yet? Oh........another potty break.
8:00 PM: It's starting to cool off out here, now it's only like 118 degrees outside! Poor kids are still having a blast besides the fact that they are beat-red despite the heavy application of sunblock 4 times today. I've got a splitting headache by this time because I forgot my sunglasses and I couldn't afford $46 to buy a new pair in the gift shop. Couldn't afford a bottle of Tylenol in there either, so I guess I'll suffer for the rest of the day. It is almost time to leave now, right? Oh...another potty break.
9:00 PM: Where's little nephew man at? Oh no! It seems that we've neglected to keep track of all the kids! "I thought you had him!" No, I thought you had him!" After 3.5 seconds of not knowing where little nephew man's whereabouts were...he appears 2 feet in front of us with a Spongebob stuffed toy and a half-empty can of warm Mountain Dew. So his mommy asks him where he got it from and he points over to an abandoned stroller by the trash can. Can you say Yuck? And then he had the nerve to cry about returning Spongebob back to his original owner! I think someone needs a nap.......ME!!!!
10:00 PM: More long lines....14 more potty breaks and $32 more spent on a few cold drinks.....Can we leave yet? The park closes at 10:00, right? Yeah! I start to get my second-wind! I am soooo excited that it is time to go! :)

Why aren't people leaving? What did you say? Did you say that this place is open tonight until 11:00 PM? Another hour of torture? Are you kidding me? Quick grab the kids and tell them it's closing now so we need to hurry and leave to avoid traffic. Why aren't they falling for it? How come the 9-year-old knew it didn't close until 11:00 and I, the parent, didn't even know that? Well, it's nice that the 2-year-old just chimed in and said "Yeah, mommy....kwoses at eleben! (Translation: Closes at Eleven) Are you kidding me? Why did everyone know this but me???
More potty breaks and $28 more dollars spent on some junky light-up sticks for the kids and some colorful fireworks later..........

11:00 PM: Ladies & gentlemen, it is NOW 11:00 PM...It is NOW time to leave the park!
First, another potty break before we leave.
11:35 PM: We finally managed to make it to our vehicle. It was only about 2.5 miles away from the entrance gate! I was surprised that it was so easy for us to find. We had no problem at all.....Probably because it was the LAST vehicle in the entire lot! Are you kidding me....I am the last one to get out of this place? I want to scream & shout all at the same time. Not to mention another 2.5 hour drive home. That puts us in our driveway sometime between 2:00 AM - 3:00 AM (depending on amount of potty breaks!)
I am so ready to go home.
Home, Home, Home! Home sweet home! I am never doing that again! That was pure craziness! So glad to be home! :)

One year later: Planning another torture day at the same place in the same heat with the same kids and the same long-lines and the same expensive food....and the bird poop and the warm cans of someone else's pop by the trashcan, and the cries and the whines and the.......pure torture I tell ya! Why do this again, I ask myself?
Because we do it every year and because the kids absolutely love it. They look so forward to all the hype that it actually reminds me of reminds me of the fun I used to have when I would go to an amusement park in the summertime with my family when I was little. It didn't matter how hot it was and how long the lines were......there was a time that I used to love every minute of it! Imagine that! I'm sure my mom felt like I feel now. Of course, if she was overly miserable there I never knew it. She cared more about me having fun than anything else, I guess. That's what I'll try to do for my kids...........

Try to make them think I'm having fun there. Yep, that's what I'll do. I'll have to start doing that next year though because we're actually going tomorrow and I already know it's not happening tomorrow. It's gonna be hot and sticky and I've got another one in the preliminary potty training stage phase and I am already anticipating my day to be pretty much a carbon-copy of the day I just posted on here (my experience every year for the last 3 years!). So, If it's possible to enjoy a day of torture as outlined above, somebody please give me the name of the physician that prescribed those special "happy" pills to you so I can make an appointment ASAP!!!! lol :)

So....everyone, please hope the best for me tomorrow (as you are at home & comfy in the luxury of cool air conditioning) as I try to make it through another un-amusing day at the amusement park without flipping out and/or passing out from the heat.
Thanks Guys! If I survive this day....I will be back soon! :)
Life of Lele.lumz
(The Real-life expressions of a 20-something mom of 2 who doesn't mind being miserable one day a year to make a trip to the amusement park for her long as everyone is okay with her crying & whining about wanting to leave...the minute we walk in the gate! lol)

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